Beginning to see the Light.

All my life I have found ways to avoid myself.  Times when I have had the opportunity to embrace the grace and gift of life and I have run in fear not so mu

ch from life but from myself.  The overwhelming nature of all the dark things in life have caused me to grow weary before even starting to walk.  I can say right now that there are little moments in life where the right thing said within the heart and the soul to life ope

n doors that I always knew were possible but I couldn’t manage to see for a minute beyond myself.  With that long sentence I just mean he fact that within myself there is a way to see beyond myself.  I believe there will always be times of selfishness and self-centeredness and I have been taught that there doesn’t have to be.

But by my experiences tell me along with some theology that I trust that those miniature moments where I turn my heart to a word or phrase that is the truth of my soul, then, I see beyondthe need to avoid myself and I receive the great gift of myself. A self that had been lost to me.  I can see myself in God and I see God in myself.  Then, I can see beyond what I have always thought was possible and never gave into and be the possibility that leads to impossibility.  The impossibility that is a life renewed and given into in every moment with God.  The Kingdom.  I believe today for this moment that the impossible can always be possible, and what is possible can always lead to greater things happening that were once impossible.  The rooms left inside seem to increase at every turn.

Reaching for a Star.

Sometimes I feel as though I am reaching.  Always reaching for what always seems beyond my grasp.  Thinking about how I line up, what I lack, what frustrates me or even what liberates me.  I found today through a little bit of heaven that what I am and who I am is all I need to begin and stay in the journey towards the time when lion will rest with the lamb.

Am I finding in myself the place where I am at rest with what I find in myself and what I find around me?  Can I say to myself that everything is exactly where it supposed to be, and everyone is exactly where they are supposed at this present moment?  Can I say to myself that I accept absolutely everything as God has intended it to be in this moment?

The funny thing is I read about how Oprah Winfrey has something called the AHA moment.  I think we all know what that is to us.  For me it really is the essential moment, where I need to go everyday despite my ambivalence towards reality, to recognize God in all things and all things in God.

In Christianity we find this momentum in some areas where you here the word “saved” a lot.  I guess I am going to say what if all those AHA moments for absolutely everyone is this little bit of heaven that comes down, this work of the Spirit in creation (everyone and everything is God’s creation).  These AHA moments are those where someone drinking a beer finds something good in the person next to them.  Does it need to be called a love affair, no, but it can be called a place where the Spirit of God is allowing that person to find a little bit of their heart in someone else.  This is the glory of God revealed on earth.

Do I step out of the box that Christianity has formed around me, or do I see and have a relationship with AHA of every moment.  Look around and see the glory of God revealed in the heavens above, and yes in the hell of what we might call hell.  It is all there.

Something Greater

What if everything we thought was possible is possible?  What if our dreams can come to us in an instant, and yet be revealed throughout this life into eternity?  All it takes is a turning.

I do not think that I have an overwhelming sense of Christ crucified.  Yet I do know who I am crucified.  Maybe this is Christ crucified?  Maybe my life needs the cross to an extent where it truly is all I know…Christ crucified?

So what is the application to this?  What is some of the basis for these thoughts?

A great book I have been reading is Making Wise the Simple.  It is a book about the Torah and Christian faith.  I quote “The desired result of the new identity of the community is that it should ‘tell the goodness of God.’”  We have been given a privilege to tell of God’s great deeds in our lives.  God’s calling us into his marvelous light.  Am I done living life in a way that denies being broken?  Are we willing to accept being “broken bread,” to give to others.  Let us just say this.  We are alive, we sin, we struggle, we are attacked.  Isn’t the biggest blessing as followers of Christ to be sought out as lost sheep.  Sheep that were in the fold yet have wandered.  Are we not all wanders in one way or another.  Constantly searching even as we are being search out.  We have been forgiven much so we can love much.  We begin finding ourself on our cross believing that it all is worth the nailing.  By finding our inner brokenness our yearning for more, then we can find the place where we recognize that marvelous light.  We recognize that darkness is a fact of life.  There is night, and even cloudy days.  We awaken to the power of the cross.  We awaken to a life where broken bread feeds the multitude.  We find our identity in the community sharing the “goodness of God.”

Am I in a place where though I wander I am not lost?  I see my Father with arms held out wide yearning to give me a celebration for knowing where to find love.

Responsibility for the World

If you think you are a teacher, why are you not teaching yourself?  I have struggled with this since I have been a Christian.  I have been one who is called a teacher yet always finding myself being able to tell, without myself putting it into practice.  But I do and can say things that always challenge me to live more and more in the light of the knowledge of Christ.

Reading my beloved Barth he discusses how we always need revelation to make its imprint in our inner life.  We need constant revelation.  He says “What is revelation if it is not continuous?”  Barth is talking about how we need constant truth entering our souls.  We need to walk with God where we give him “24 hours, not half a day.”  He goes on to discuss how we need to notice where our lives are at, stating ” with what do you propose to irrigate the surrounding country?”

Let’s take a tu

rn in this search.

Thomas Merton, a great Roman Catholic monk, wrote “It is only in assuming full responsibility for our world, for our lives and for ourselves that we can be said to live really for God.”

So with these points on Barth and Merton, I need to be able to ask myself if I am in conscious constant contact with God.  Am I taking responsibility for my world? Am I taking responsibility for God’s world?  I need to look at myself and think about how we need to choose to love the world because God has given it to us to take care of it, to love and nurture it.  There was in medieval Christianity and other religions where a concept, which Merton exposed to me called contemptus mundi. This means hatred for the world.

Today we think the world is falling apart.  It is.  Today we think there are those saved and those who are not.  Well I suppose there might be.  Am I thinking these things because I am not fully present to life and reality?  Am I so far from God’s love that I cannot accept that I play a

part in the world falling apart?  Am I so far from the love of God that I cannot recognize that I can be on both sides of the learning curve in the school of the Spirit?

So lets look at ourselves.  Let us have faith in knowing that my watering well might be dry, but if I continue to dig there might be a reserve in the depths ofmy heart, with which I can water the world.  Not only do I need to dig for this unending river, but I must also recognize that rivers are a characteristic of this world.  Not only do I have a water supply, yes living water, but there are rivers all over the world.  And this is what unites us all.  We all search and dig for love, sometimes without even noticing it.  Am I united to our world in our search for water which constantly flows?  Am I recognizing my responsibility for the world and my life?  And finally, Am I resting on an intimate relationship where I know that love is not segregated,God does not segregate from people, through the “love that surpasses knowledge? ” (Ephesians)

Limiting the operation of God.

Reading Barth’s The Epistle to the Romans, confirms to me what the essence of what evangelism is for me as a Christian.  Barth takes notice of how we who have the law, who have a confirmed knowledge of Christ, of God, and especially the Kingdom of God have no place in this life to seek to try and name where people are spiritually.

We as Christians have been given a direct understanding of the incomprehensibility of God.  We understand the human peril and how we have been given revelation which is not in accordance with anything worth on our part.  Barth states, with this next, do we dare “limit the sphere of God’s operation?”

Further quoting Karl Barth in regards to people’s judgement of other religions…

Such men have long been in possession of impressions of God quite

different from those which we ever have had or shall have.

We should ponder where our hearts are, we should ponder our judgements of other cultures, religions, and other people’s understandings of God.

I quickly went to Romans 10:9 where it discusses Christ guarantees our salvation.  We of Christ have been given direct revelation of God.  Our part as Christians is to live the love.  Live the life of faith in order for others to see Christ through us.  We do not live a life of love and faith condemning other people’s understanding of God.  We live in order to understand their beliefs and share in a conversation where the people involved may both be edified.  That we both may glory in the presence of God where we meet and know God in our individual ways.

So what with evangelism.  I would say live the life of love.  We are known as disciples of Christ by our love.  We are known to the world to be uplifting because we have been lifted up by God.  We have been given grace that we may be bearers of grace.  Do not receive the grace of God in vain, in order to go on to place your beliefs over anyone else’s faith.  We have been saved by grace through faith.  Let our faith give grace in order for others to have faith in what we stand for and who has been revealed to us.

Stop in Front of the Mirror Today!!

“A mirror has the quality of enabling a man to see his image in it, but for this he must stand still”-Kierkegaard

Rushing around, never fully satisfied, always looking to be comfortable, always wandering for a place to sit.  Can we take the time to look at ourselves?  Are we ashamed of what we have built on the foundation of our lives.  This quote is placed in the context of double-mindedness, in his book Purity of Heart.  In order to me to become conscious of my own purity I have to be willing to soften the ground so its easy to dig, and plant in order for purity to blossom.  Or better yet to allow God to water our consciousness to see the light he has put in our hearts and souls.

Hosea 10:12 states “Break up your fallow ground, it is time to seek the Lord.”  It goes on to say in my words your deeds have done you no good, you trusted in your own ways.

Can I trust what the mirror tells me I look like?  Yes I can trust a mirror for logical reasons though I do not understand it.  I do this just like I trust electricity every day to fulfill my needs despite not necessarily knowing how it works.  But I know it does work.  So I also have to trust the basis of God’s word in my life.  It is the mirror, his grace is like the electricity.

Do we take enough time to truly search the mirror of our hearts?  Am I taking the time to understand if my ground is ready to bring forth life and fruit?

To be ready you have to dig no matter what.  Do I know where I am restless?  In what lies my anxiety?  Do I have courage to allow the Word to penetrate and make me aware of my disposition?

The Word is what penetrates to make us aware of our standing.  It tells us exactly the who, whats, wheres and whys of myself both inside and outside.  This is what is meant when I say the Word is a mirror.  Yet I have to take the time to stop in front of mirror in order to see myself.  I have to stop in life in order to seek God.  I have to stop in order to see where my soul is and what God is doing in all of myself, spirit, soul and body.  Have I taken time today to see who I am?

Accepting the Paradox

Every moment I come to in life I come unfinished, not yet ready for fullness.  I am on a road that leads to the breaking of the dawn.  I believe I will always be a person who walks in the light of self, yet always somewhat mystically not fully enlightened with God.  God has given me vision, hope and faith.  I have a vision for the future.  I hope that this future will come to pass.  I have faith that God has given me all things which pertain to my life through my knowledge of Christ.

This truly is how I am still on the road till dawn, the road to see the morning star.  God comes in glimpses.  God comes as I travel a mountain, yet even on the mountain there is still the transcendence of God that leaves me hoping, desperately for another taste.

Have you ever felt like there is more to God, to life, to self than what you are experiencing?  Do you feel like there is something missing, something that leaves you wandering?  By the grace of God we know where we wander to, but do we really?  This is truly the great paradox of Christianity.  We like to think we know exactly what we have waiting for us, we have a definitive answer to our questions.

I have to get to the point where I am comfortable, and can share that vulnerability with the world, that awe of God is the only answer I have to my questions.  I have to get to the place where I understand that things in life are not understandable.  I have to get to the place that my conception of God does ill to incomprehensibility of God.

On my own road knowing I am unfinished, understanding that I am not ready for fullness is the beginning of living exactly where God wants me every moment.  The possibilities of giving myself to the unseen are momentous.  I have to give into faith that I am sure of who I am despite the fact that I don’t see in my life all God says about me.  This seems agonizing to me because no matter how much I like to see the light in my life, there is always darkness.  Do not ignore the darkness and bask in the light.  Yes I said it.  I say walk in the darkness and how how much sweeter that passion will be for the break of dawn.  The sweet just ain’t as sweet without the bitter.  Walk in the light and take courage to accept the darkness so that more light can come.

Creation: Who Are We?

Bruce C. Birch wrote in his book Let Justice Roll Down: The Old Testament, Ethics, and Christian Life,

“The goal of our work moves toward our rest.”

We are a word from God, we are living epistles.  The things we do with our life is like what God did at creation.  We work and make ideas in our head, we create images, we are people who are always becoming something, or more important we are always making who we are.  Sometimes I have been on both sides of this spectrum.  I create in my heart lies.  Lies about my reality, lies about who I am.  I create who I want to be.  Yet God has a different view of who we are.  This is the other end of the spectrum.  God wants us to not become who we think we are in this world, but who we truly are in his world, in his eyes and in his hands, with his pen written on our hearts, the signature of Christ.

God created the world in six days and on the seventh he rested.  So God looks to us to create what is good, just like him in order to truly rest.  We can have peace, yes we can imagine peace by becoming who we think we are or who we want to be or even look like.  In my estimation we might have a sense of peace, but its the peace of this world.  It is a peace we have created, but true peace is from God and it surpasses all our comprehension.  How can we be at peace?  How can we enter into the true rest that God entered into?

I think we enter into God’s rest by knowing that we created what is good.

What if I don’t have this rest?  What if I can’t even get glimpse of what God’s peace really is to me in the moment?  How can I find this peace?  Inevitable I always have a relationship with God.  God is present bidden or not bidden(an old latin saying).  I have a relationship of denial or companionship.

So what is the answer to my question?  Create in order to rest.  All I know is that if I know what the right thing to do is, I should do it.  Give into this spiritual walk, where I no longer struggle for my images, my life, all of my, my, my’s.  I slam the doors of willingness which would give into the Great Reality by giving into my own conceptions of what my life will be.  The secret that I know is that what I would most want my life to be deep down in all I am is in where I am with God.  My life is the sum of my thoughts.  My thoughts create my words, and words create my actions.  Where is my mind today?  What are the words I am writing, or even more so who is writing the words of my epistle?  It is our choice.  Thanks be to God-Through Jesus Christ our Lord.

The Next Moment

Wisdom is the ability to walk out the will of God because you are aligning your inward and outward reality to what you know is right.  We all have been given knowledge.  I have found knowledge in experience.  Yet how much more meaningful is learned experience lived out to enjoy a meaningful life.

Sometimes we have no idea what the next step is in our life.  Sometimes we are in the dark to tomorrow, a year or longer in our lives and in the “will of God.”  So what is there to do for the moment.  Maybe that is all we can know about our lives.  What we are to do in the next moment.  By the grace of God I have learned that praying for the best response, the best answer, the best advice to give in the next moment can make it meaningful.  Yet also there is also the moment where all we can do is rest on our experience and know that it was all we could do.

What makes my life meaningful?  I think this grace thing is meaningful.  In many respects.  All grace is God given.  Whether it is through someone else, a token from a little birdie, or even a pet turtle that you can just watch and wonder why he keeps opening his mouth.  Can this turtle breathe?

But more along the lines of what I am writing about is giving into that will of God.  Giving into a life lived with a thousand little choices,certainly we have learned what the moment might ask of us, haven’t we?  It is tough it is rough and we can certainly be ruthless, but in a moment we can make  a choice that ignites the next thousand choices and learn just what grace is.  We can learn what wisdom really is.  We can walk as if all we have is grace.  The ability to do the next right thing.

Coming to Know Ourselves: The Great Reality

I look at a passion for grace as a title not because it is wishy washy and all I know is that I have grace so I can do what I want and have God’s inevitable blessing.  I am looking at the grace I have received in my own life and I have a passion for others to see it in their own lives.

Some people I have come across in my life as a Christian have been people who have been marginalized by the Christian Church.  They feel outcasted.  Some people shriek because of Jesus.  They feel hurt deep down because of bad experiences with Christians at some point in their lives.  They do want want into Christianity because it is promoted, and yes I am sorry, but promoted even pushed as the only way.  I am not saying it does not take faith in Christ to have a relationship with Christ.  I am saying that God does not make to hard of terms to those who seek him.

The prior post revealed that we need to know who we are, we don’t need to push who we or “what we have.”  I have to attract people.  People need for themselves to want what I have.  I am a work in progress, but if I know I am a work in progress and have grace through this process, I need to show other how we are all works being created, we are all receiving grace…bountifully.

I guess this is why I love God.  It is a journey and not a destination.  Getting to know God, and yes coming to know ourselves in the Great Reality.  John Calvin in his Christian Theology text wrote about how we need to know ourselves before we can ever know God.  I need to know I need a Savior before I can ever accept one, especially as Lord over my life.

So why I love God because the more I find what deeply more joys and struggles are the more I see God in my these, in my life, and in my world.  There is a lot of talk about the Kingdom of God.  It is in my heart Jesus said in the gospels.  So again building on yesterday, I have to know and search my heart in order to find my role in the Kingdom.  I have a written epistle on my heart.  We all have a different story we all have different experiences.  Yet if I give into my story, even the terrible part, the tragedies, then I can begin to see how my experiences can benefit others.